A bride-to-be said that she and her mother argued over her decision not to serve cake at her wedding.
In a post on the “Am I the ***hol” Reddit forum, a bride wrote that she and her fiancé decided to have a personal cake for only them to enjoy at their wedding and planned to serve another dessert like cookies or cupcakes to their guests. However, her mother told her that doing so would be rude to her guests.
“We are opting for a more simple wedding and taking the ‘less-is-more’ approach on most, but not all, things,” the bride explained. “I would like to have a small personal wedding cake for my fiancé and myself to enjoy. It’s one thing that is just for us.”
She noted that she didn’t want two separate cakes because she didn’t like the idea from an “aesthetic” point of view, but her mother argued that she was in the wrong.
“According to my mother… I’m slighting the experience of the guests by not having it,” she added. “She is unhappy with the thought of any other dessert for guests besides cake, and has expressed much distaste in that choice.”
She stressed that they wouldn’t be doing their guests a disservice. In fact, she and her fiancé felt like they were being generous with their guests by serving six appetizers, two entrée dinners with two sides, salad, rolls, and unlimited wine as well as an open bar.
“I doubt with the portion sizes and scale of the dinner service that the guests will be left hungry,” she continued.
Reddit users were divided by the post, with some agreeing that it wasn’t rude, however, others believed that the bride’s mother was in the right. Funnily enough, the comment section only reached a consensus that the bride should not serve her guests cookies.
“Cupcakes are the same thing as cake,” one user wrote. “I wouldn’t bat an eye at that. But cookies are not. I love cookies, but if you’re looking to do a comparable dessert, stick with cupcakes.”
Another added, “Wedding cake has deep enough roots that doing something else as guest dessert will be noticeable and may offend some. Like, I would notice and think it was a little odd to have a cookie when they are having cake.”
Some people noted that one thing they look forward to at weddings is the cake and suggested that the bride try using sheet cakes as they’re easy to distribute and cut.
One person added, “I look forward to cake at weddings! I would definitely be disappointed if I didn’t get any at a wedding, especially if I saw the bride and groom eating some. You could easily have sheet cakes in the back that are cut for guests.”
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