Why is everything suddenly a cake? These slicing videos are a real cutup. - NJ.com

The fourth month in the year of our pandemic has given us several important milestones. First, “Hamilton” on TV. Second, we can somewhat expect that those incessant, errant fireworks will actually stop. Third, cake.

More specifically, cake that doesn’t look like cake.

Of course, such trickery is nothing new. The artistry of those who sling fondant is well known — consider New Jersey’s own “Cake Boss” Buddy Valastro, and his team of bakers who turn stacks of cereal treats and sheet cake into animals, vegetables and other foods like bagels, Haagen-Dazs and hot dogs.

Over the past week, people have been fascinated by videos that show cakes so convincing you have to slice into them to figure out they’re not what they proclaim to be. In fact, the slicing is the whole point. Seeing a knife cut through what appears to be, say, a Crocs sandal, a banana or a coconut, is kind of like watching an ASMR video — some people seem to find it satisfying.

The blade hits that fondant or modeling chocolate, then comes the reveal: layers of spongy confection and filling. Suddenly, that precious roll of toilet paper becomes a delightful treat. That sudsy bar of soap? A surprising sweet. Life’s a cake!

Or is it?

For others, this constant slicing triggered dizzying, cake-induced paranoia.

What isn’t cake? Have we all been cake this whole time??

The cake commotion seems to have started with a video from BuzzFeed’s Tasty arm, which supplies a steady stream of food and recipe videos (which people also apparently watch to relax).

“These Are All Cakes,” the Tasty Twitter account posted July 8, sharing a clip that featured cakes that looked like sandals, bananas, a potted plant, a bar of soap, pizza and more. The video has been viewed more than 27 million times.

More cake footage followed. One cake looked so much like a human hand — tattoos and all — that cringing was not out of order. Ditto for a rat cake in the same video.

Did anyone really want to see that cross section? But see it we did, along with a cakes made to look like cans of beans, Coca-Cola, White Claw and Campbell’s tomato soup.

The ensuing cake discourse has been plentiful — as plentiful as videos of cake being other things.

Here, have a slice.

“Are ya a cake, son?” offered one meme entry, showing a stick figure carrying a knife through a door.

“Got to see my mom for the first time in 5 months today,” tweeted actor and comedian Ben Schwartz (”Parks and Recreation,” “Space Force”).

“Quarantined for 2 weeks, got COVID tested twice and when it was finally time to hug her, my arms went right through her because she was cake,” he said. “Come on guys. That’s enough. Not everything has to be a cake. Where is my mom?”

We had to ask — were famous incidents from history and pop culture — the execution of King Louis XVI during the French Revolution, Darth Vader cutting off Luke Skywalker’s hand — just people checking if someone else was cake?

A slippery slope. Soon, people were slicing through regular household objects, like a tissue box, just to check if they were cake (dear reader, please exercise caution and maybe do not try at home unless it’s food?).

Or maybe the cake was something else entirely!

Either way, no one can be sure if we will ever be the same again.

All is sugary!!

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Amy Kuperinsky may be reached at akuperinsky@njadvancemedia.com. Send a coronavirus tip here.

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